Watching her dream walk away

Yesterday I tried to get to an exit before the door closed. (I am on crutches). This was happening in what felt like Matrix slow motion, just less impressive: door angling shut; J hobbling along as fast as possible to get body through door; J's weak attempt to wedge left crutch in door gap to prevent closure; door slamming shut.

Today I watched her leave… luggage all packed, looking great, exuding peace. I pictured her trying unsuccessfully to reach that closing door of “financial worthiness” but the door slammed shut. Her last words to me “J, everything happens for a reason… God knows and He is good.”

This is nothing profound. All I have is emotional backlog and questions starting with why her and the obvious why not me?

This is to those who believe all things happen for a reason but who do not let lack of understanding keep them down… Here’s to those who give; who realize they are here for a greater purpose than personal space and resource consumption… Here’s to those whose dreams walk, but who hobble after, pursuing, hurting, believing… And here’s to you, Miss Thang: Your perseverance, gratitude, humility and faith are a sure sign that you will walk/hobble/limp after your dream, believing that it will come to be and trusting that you are not alone…

"See not the small trials and vexations of each hour of the day. See the one purpose and plan to which all are leading. If in climbing a mountain you keep our eyes on each stony or difficult place, as you ascend, seeing only that, how weary and profitless your climb! But if you think of each step as leading to the summit of achievement, from which glories and beauties will open before you, then your climb will be so different."
(God Calling, The Summit)

...God knows, and He is good!