Insight into struggles...

Psalm 13

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

In Psalm 13, David wrestled with the problem of unanswered prayer. He questioned why the world was so dangerous and pleaded for answers from God. It’s a hard psalm that David sang, and it seems to be one of frustration. Yet, in the end, his doubts and fears turned to trust. Why? Because the circumstances of our struggles cannot diminish the character of God and His care for His children. In verse 5, David turned a corner. From his heart he prayed, “But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.”

In the pain and struggle of living without answers, we can always find comfort in our heavenly Father. —Bill Crowder

Not ours to know the reason why
Unanswered is our prayer,
But ours to wait for God’s own time—
To lift the cross we bear. —Anon.
(From Our Daily Bread May 30th 2007)

What I have learned so far about myself:
I have difficulty believing God in the day-to-day demands of living; in the home; in the work place; in the crisis. I have a hard time believing who He is and what He says...

I am not persuaded by His honesty, trusting in His reality, being won over by His veracity; being sure that he is sure, and believing He's worthy of believing...

I base my faith on what God does rather than who He is... this is why I am caught in a constant roller coaster ride, at a new high when God is obvious and a lower low when God seems inactive... caught in a never stopping process...

I possess a "what God does" faith which is really not faith at all. The faith of the faithless says "If God is not obvious, He is obviously not God" but God does not call upon us to seek His works. He calls upon us to seek His heart! I am struggling to have a faith based on who God, faith not greatly moved because it focuses on a God not greatly moved!

I am so focused on my feelings and perceptions that I do not listen or take God at His word... I am not trusting of Plan B's and don't like to be delivered by being run aground but even Paul was delivered this way (Acts 27:26)...

I need to remember God always can! If He chooses to!

So here goes my prayer:
God, Father, I cannot understand what you've done so far... But I know that, unlike me, Your actions cannot be inconsistent with Your heart, and I know Your heart is loving, good, and faithful. Somehow, some way, somewhere all these things are for good. If I could just know You better through this, that is all the good I need...
(All adapted from a Beth Moore study)